Rape and sexual assault

Being face to face with a rapist is a terrifying experience. Being face to face with a balaclava even more so, because what we cannot see is more frightening than what we can see. For however long the attack lasts the rapist has absolute power of the victim.

Some victims are violated in other ways than penetration, including being forced to drink urine, swallow ejaculate or eat faeces. They often feel they are the only ones who have been assaulted in this way.

Rape and sexual assault shatters the belief we are safe, plunging us into a world in which we are conscious, all the time of danger both real and imagined.

The rape of a well balanced adult will cause post-sexual shock symptoms which may include alienation, agoraphobia, chronic anxiety, panic attacks and illnesses causes by acute stress.

I can help you put back together the pieces of your life by using various strategies / methods in a safe nurturing environment.

Spiritual Questioning

Spiritual questioning is the process of exploring deep, often personal questions about existence, purpose, meaning, and one’s relationship with something greater than oneself.

Stress

Stress is usually related to overload. Causes of stress can be:

• Work or unemployment

• Money worries

• Loneliness

• Moving

• Bereavement

• Divorce

• Illness

• Poor social skills

• Becoming a parent

Stress can effect your physical, intellectual and emotional functioning. Some of the symptoms of stress can be :

• Loss of concentration

• Loss of memory

• Inability to make decisions

• Inability to problem solve

• Difficulty in dismissing problems from the mind.

• Cotton wool head

• Feeling low /dulled

• Anger and irritability increase

• No joy, pleasure or laughter

• Active love and caring has lessened / disappeared

• Frequent tears

I can help you recognise the causes of stress in your life; help you recognise how stress makes you feel; help you with methods for dealing with stress.

Physical, emotional and sexual abuse

People often think that sexual abuse is more damaging than emotional and physical abuse. This is not correct. Physical, sexual and emotional abuse can all have very damaging effects.

Issues that can arise from all three of the above are low self esteem, lack of confidence, anger, depression, anxiety, body issues, problems with intimacy, self harm, issues around trust, sexual problems, sexual identity confusion, panic attacks…the list goes on.

Males and females are sexually abused by either gender. If you have been abused you are not alone. Some statistics say one in three girls and one out of seven boys will be abused by the age of eighteen.

Abuse happens to children of every culture, class, race, religion and gender. Children are abused by fathers, stepfathers, uncles, aunts, neighbours, family friends, baby sitters, teachers, strangers, mothers, clergy.

All abuse is damaging and the trauma does not end when the abuse stops. If you were abused as a child you are probably experiencing long term effects that interfere with your day-to-day functioning.

I can help you work your way through the maze of pain. I can show you the life you are entitled to lead. I have been working in this field for over 10 years and have a specialist qualification in “working with adult survivors of abuse.”

Relationship problems

Couples often run into relationship problems, where one or both partners are very dissatisfied or becoming dissatisfied with the relationship. This can be due to many many factors.

Often communication is poor or even absent. Divorce / separation can seem the only way. This may not be true.

If both parties are willing to work hard at the relationship and is something they want I can help get their relationship back on track.

Personal development

Personal development is about more than self-improvement—it’s about self-discovery. Through counselling, you can gain clarity, build confidence, and uncover what’s holding you back.

Panic Attacks

Panic attacks can be very scary indeed when you have them – especially for the first – and are in fact quiet common occurring in up to five percent of the population. They are defined by a sudden onset of intense apprehensive fear and terror, whilst accompanied by many physical symptoms such as dizziness, difficulty in breathing, palpitations, jelly legs, chest pains, tingling sensations, shaking, sweating and feelings of unreality.

The symptoms are often accompanied by very negative thinking, for example:

• I am going to die

• I am going mad / crazy

• I am going to faint

• I am going to have a heart attack.

Often by continuing to think these thoughts they make the symptoms worse so that an upwardly spiraling vicious circle of thoughts and physical symptoms is created.

Panic attacks are one of the symptoms of a build up of stress. People who experience panic attacks seem to be those who experience stress in their cardiovascular systems.

Often, the symptoms of panic produce a level of worry and stress that these symptoms become a greater problem than the original stress.

I can help you overcome / manage your panic attacks by using Cognitive Behavioural Techniques and by looking at your general stress levels and life style.

Domestic Abuse

Domestic Abuse is a pattern of behaviour by the perpetrator to gain power and control over an intimate partner or family member.

Domestic Abuse is not always visible .Abuse takes place behind closed door through control. .manipulation …isolation…threats.. or physical
harm .If you have experienced this you are not alone and certainly not to blame in any shape or form.

Together we can create a safe place where your story can be safely heard and at your pace abuse is a pattern.

Divorce and separation

The breakdown of a relationship can take months or years. You drift apart, lose interest in each other, are constantly under stress and frequently cannot be bothered to talk to each other. You may stop sleeping together and the intimacy ceases. You may endlessly row or not speak to each other for days.

When the relationship ends there are many emotions you may go through:

• Anger

• Shock

• Pain

• Hatred

• Grief

• Acceptance

Then of course there may be the legal process which can be daunting. Self esteem and confidence can be at an all time low.

I can help with all the above and empower you to increase your self esteem and confidence.